


... but it may just as well be a cat in your lap

by black_queen (hotch_fan)



Series: Eccentric Superhero Boyfriends [10]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Banter, Bruce doesn't know what to make of his crazy boyfriend sometimes, Canon - Movie, Cats, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Established Relationship, Humor, Kissing, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Pets, Sequel, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, it's Tony's turn to get all cute with a pet, pet adoption, stray cats, yes the cat in this fic is based on one of RDJ's adopted cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-18
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-09 07:20:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6895285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotch_fan/pseuds/black_queen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You brought a cat with you. From <em>Afghanistan."</em></p><p>+ Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/6061663">this</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	... but it may just as well be a cat in your lap

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starkind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starkind/gifts).



> Sequel to [happiness is (not) a dog in your bed...](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6061663). You could try reading this one on its own, but it will make more sense if you read the other fic first :)

"Welcome, Mr. Wayne." The AI greeted him as politely as always when he stepped into the mansion.

"Thank you, JARVIS," Bruce said with a flickering curl of lips as he walked farther. He took off his sunglasses; folding and tucking them into the inside pocket of his jacket as he looked around. "Tony is in his workshop, I take it."

"Yes, sir. I have informed him of your arrival and he is waiting for you downstairs."

Bruce nodded, even if he knew JARVIS couldn't see him. It was habit, mostly. He put the dark suitcase he brought with him at the bottom of the stairs to carry up later and then reached to take off his jacket and place it on top of the suitcase. After unbuttoning the cuffs of his white shirt, Bruce started rolling up the sleeves as he headed in the direction of the workshop to find the wayward billionaire.

He typed the code into the keypad outside the door, brow furrowing immediately when loud rock music didn't assault his ears as soon as he pulled the door open. Bruce could see Tony sitting behind his desk, several holographic screens displayed before him.

Tony looked up as soon as the door opened, a bright smile lighting up his face as soon as their gazes met. "Hey, sweet cheeks."

"Hey yourself," He murmured as he walked closer, the corner of his lips curled up slightly. It had become an habit by now to simply ignore Tony's ridiculous nicknames. And after so long without seeing each other, Bruce could _almost_ admit he had missed them. Just a little.

They both tried their best to see each other constantly; with Tony flying to Gotham (more often than not in his suit) and him traveling to Malibu for a mini-vacation sometimes, so they could spend at least a couple of days together. They sometimes even meet up during social events in different cities and took a few days for themselves there too.

It didn't always work, so sometimes they had to make do with phone calls and texts, as well as some rather interesting Skype sessions. There were a few memorable ones that made him blush just thinking about them.

As much as he had been opposed to the idea, Bruce had to admit make their relationship public had made things simpler. Taking trips and meeting up was a lot easier without having to hide from the world, even if it also had its disadvantages.

With Tony's eyes following his every move, he walked around to the other side of the desk, but stopped before leaning forward to give him a kiss and-

Bruce blinked down at the small dark ball of fur in Tony's lap. The cat- because it was a cat, opened his eyes, letting him catch a glimpse of bright blue eyes.

"Well?" Tony asked impatiently, reaching to tug playfully at the striped tie around Bruce's neck. "Are you coming over here or what? Can't exactly get up to greet you, honey buns,"

"Is that- Is that a cat?"

"Last time I checked, yeah." Bruce glared at him making Tony's grin widen. "Found him all by his lone self while I was playing around in Kandahar."

Bruce gave Tony an incredulous look. "You brought a cat with you. From _Afghanistan."_

"Yeah. No, wait. If you're asking if I flew him here in my armor, then no. I was going to, but he wasn't too thrilled about that." Tony shrugged, a hand petting the cat's black fur. "Had to throw around some money so he could be flown here in a plane."

The Wayne heir opened his mouth to talk, but closed it again without saying anything. What could he even say to that?

"I was on my way back when I saw him stuck in a tree, so I flew there and I pulled him down." He shrugged. "Kind of cliché, I know. But I promise I'm not going to turn into an official kitty fetcher like your friend with the red cape."

"Except he doesn't take them home with him," He pointed out.

"And how would you _know_ that." Tony narrowed his eyes. "Have you been over to the Super-House without telling me, Brucie-bear?"

Bruce rolled his eyes. "If he did, there would be some half-assed rumor about Superman forming an army of cats by now." And he wasn't even kidding. It was honestly amazing the number of absurd things people wrote about Superman.

Tony snorted. He was looking down at the cat in his lap as he scratched behind his ears. It was a rather endearing sight, Bruce had to admit that. And he was pretty sure the cat was purring now.

"You're keeping him?"

"Of course I am. What would I do with all the toys I brought and the room I asked Pepper to arrange for him if I'm just going to throw him away?"

Bruce pressed his lips together, not even daring to ask about that last part.

"Have you picked a name yet?" Bruce asked as he lowered himself to sit cross-legged on the floor. He watched the black creature in Tony's lap, but was careful to keep some distance as to not appear threatening. The sudden attention made the cat turn alert; blue eyes opening wide and pupils dilated as he watched him back.

Bruce was actually surprised he hadn't fled as soon as he saw him, but then again, the cat must be used to strange people if he had been living on the streets.

"Nope. Was waiting for the name expert to come help before I did."

"Ha, ha."

"His name is Montgomery," Tony said after a moment, making Bruce's eyebrows shot upward. "Monty for short."

Bruce looked down at the cat. It was a pretty big name for such a small, cute cat. He reached forward to pet him only to pull his hand back quickly as the cat swiped at it with sharp claws, hissing.

Tony cackled, the sudden noise making the black cat jump from his lap and run way. "He likes you."

 _"What?"_ Bruce growled, glaring up at him.

"He did the same thing when he met Pepper, only she wasn't quick enough to avoid a little scratch. And he did that too when I rescue him, but I was wearing my armor, so I just cooed at the cute little thing."

"And you didn't think to warn me?"

"Didn't know you were going to touch him, cupcake," Tony said with a shrug. "He takes some time to warm up to people, I guess."

Bruce merely grunted in answer. He moved to stand but was stopped by Tony.

"Uh-uh. You stay down there," He said, pushing his chair away before flopping down at his side. Fingers curling around the smooth fabric of Bruce's tie one more time, Tony drawn him closer to steal a kiss before sitting at his side, legs stretched out before him.

"What did Pepper said?"

Tony looked at him amusedly. "You know she's not my mom, right? I don't have to ask her permission to have a pet." Bruce gave him a look. Tony made a face, but wisely said nothing else about it. "She was livid when I showed to a meeting in a suit filled with cat hair. But then she came over and fell in love with him too.

"He's a pretty good inversion, actually."

"Really?"

"Really. You know how Pepper sometimes likes to come here all mad and ready to yell at me? Well, now all I have to do is throw Monty first to soften her. Can't believe I hadn't thought of it before."

"You didn't tell me about him," Bruce commented casually after a moment.

Tony blinked. "I announced it on Twitter. Posted a couple of photos and videos too."

 _Of course._ And at this time, announcing something on Twitter mean announcing it to the world. Even people who didn't actively use it could hear about things that happened in it.

Tony loved it, naturally, and because of that had tried to get him into it too, opening a Twitter account for him a couple of years ago while they had been spending a quiet late evening in the Manor.

Over Chinese food (since Alfred was away) and a game in TV neither care about, Bruce had let his curiosity get the better of him and skimmed through Tony's Twitter. It had been an interesting experience, to say the less. Tony offered to set an account for him and had it almost all fixed up before Bruce could say no. Game long forgotten, Tony had spent almost one hour teaching him to use it and showing him things in it, trying to convince him of the wonders of using Twitter.

It hadn't worked, obviously.

"You know I don't use Twitter, Tony," Bruce reminded him.

Tony snorted. "Right. Forgot I was talking to Mr. "What's social media? Let me go back to my cave to spy on the whole city the old fashioned way"".

Bruce rolled his eyes. "Not everyone is an attention whore like you, Stark."

"Pity! Can you imagine if we were attention whores together? We're rich, we're hot, we're powerful, and we're fucking. Together we're pretty much Gods. We could conquer the world, one tweet at a time."

"Please stop talking," He said with a groan.

"You love it."

"I can emphatically say I don't."

"And I can _emphatically_ call bullshit. You're crazy about me, cupcake. Admit it."

Bruce shook his head, the corner of his lips twitching. "Sorry to burst your bubble, _pumpkin,_ but I only keep you around for the sex."

"Really?" Tony asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Huh. Guess I shouldn't be surprised. I've seen the way you look every time we have sex. You're such a fucking delicious wreck. It's adorable." He finished with a grin.

Bruce snorted in answer and they fell into a comfortable silence.

"How do you plan to take care of a cat when you can't even take care of yourself," He questioned looking back at Tony, eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"Hmm, you know, a certain saying involving a pot and a kettle come to mind," Tony cocked his head to the side. "Ever heard of it?"

Of course Tony was going to bring up Ace. Why was he even surprised.

Eight months had passed since the addition of Ace to the household, and the dog had slid effortlessly into Bruce's routine. And, in spite of the initial animosity, Tony had succumbed to Ace's charm, just like Bruce had. Other that hadn't been happy with the addition had been Alfred, but he had come around even faster than Tony, and now even used Ace to get him out of the cave and to the garden to play with him.

Even after Tony's visit, and with Alfred's pointedly dry remarks all around, it had taken him a few weeks to admit Ace wasn't going anywhere. The subsequent visit to the vet had set off a pointless uproar caused by Bruce Wayne adopting a stray dog.

Women had melted over his big heart; some had called it a publicity stunt, and a few organizations or people that defended animal rights had used him as an example to exhort people to adopt pets too. Bruce, of course, didn't mind the latter, even if the thought of people adopting pets just because he had done it was disturbing. But not more so that the among of time some people had dedicated to the whole thing or the number of paparazzi shots that had been taken during that short outing.

It was a good thing he didn't have to take out Ace for walks with the vast gardens in the Manor.

"You still with me, Brucie-bear?"

Tony's voice pulled him away from his thought. Bruce shook his head. "You can't blame me for having a hard time imagining you feeding or cleaning up after a cat."

Tony wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, no. That's not really my style. But I'm working on a bot that can take care of all that boring crap, so I just have to take care of the petting and playing thing."

Bruce blinked. "Or you could maybe just hire someone, like a _normal_ billionaire."

"Pff! Normal is boring, and I'm anything but boring, cupcake."

Bruce opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when he saw the black cat out of the corner of his eye. He stayed still as the cat walked slowly toward him, tail up with a slight curl at the end. Monty sniffed his bend leg, hesitating a moment before touching it with his front paws, staring blankly at him.

"Hey," Bruce murmured softly, very deliberately keeping his hands to himself this time as the cat jumped into his lap. He sniffed some more before finally bumping his head against his chest. Not a moment sooner he flicked his tail across Bruce's face unashamedly before jumping into Tony's lap.

Bruce just snorted, lifting a hand to try to the get rid of all the cat hair he swore he could feel already tingling on his face. "He's definitely yours."

Tony simply smirked, petting the soft dark fur of the cat resting on his lap.

**Author's Note:**

> This was entirely [Starkind's](http://archiveofourown.org/users/starkind/pseuds/starkind) fault for mentioning RDJ's adopted cats and putting the idea of Tony+ cats in my head. Then, I thought back to the stories I had read before about [marines adopting cats while they were overseas](http://www.lovemeow.com/kitties-rescued-by-us-marines-in-afghanistan-1608035005.html) and then finding help to get them brought back with them once they were home and that was how this story was born. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did :D
> 
> This is unbetaed and I'm not a native speaker, so please feel free to point out any mistake you find.


End file.
